The Hairy Lemon

What a great name for a place ‘The Hairy Lemon’. This was our half-term destination last Thursday organised by our friends the Hovils: Alastair’s delight only narrowly outweighing his fury at such a short break - TWO DAYS!!!

This was the stuff of children’s fiction, a tiny island in the middle of the Nile, accessible only by native canoe. On arrival, the 4x4s were parked by a thatched gazebo, aka the canoe terminus, and a metal wheel rim hanging there was struck to summons the ferry. Sure enough as if by magic a slim yellow long canoe slithered into sight through the tall reeds and accommodated 10, plus luggage and pilot. Despite a brief grounding we arrived dry at the tiny beach to be greeted by the Hairy Lemon Aussie staff. The smallest children, of whom Charlie H aged 2 was the youngest, had been given adult life jackets as a vague token to H & S; needless to say these did not reappear on the return journey - inevitably rather a rocky one.

What is on offer at such a place you may ask? Swimming pool, games room, sauna, white-water rafting (this stretch of river boasts some of the best in the world), boat hire? None of the above. It is simply an island with ‘bandas’, pitches for tents, basic facilities and full board in terms of food etc. We spent our 2 night trip doing absolutely nothing...if you discount the hours of swimming in the fast flowing channel amidst the many fish and lilac or crimson dragon flies. From one little beach the sandy river bed with a combination of fast flowing water leading to shallows created endless fun, jumping into the surge and being carried willy nilly until unceremoniously grounded on the sandy shallow stretch. Delightfully safe for all and for the athletic workout types like Jem, a perfect water version of a treadmill in the gym. He could be seen first thing in the morning doing front crawl doggedly with no visible progress but much exercise – and all provided by mother nature herself. The other activities included hours of damming form the other small beach with its rocky shallows, playing volleyball over the net in the sandy shallows and sand castle building. Jem, an enthusiastic fly fisherman, persuaded the staff to lend him a rod and showed Alastair the delights of catching tilapia and yellow fish – a mutually satisfactory arrangement as both feel keenly the lack of interest in their own families whether children or in Alastair’s case father. As ever we were amazed at our children’s ability to blend in with other families and occupy themselves with very little.




Our first night went very well. The no mosquito net policy slightly alarming, we followed instructions to spray the bandas and light coils in the early evening and awoke to no bites. One of the few insects to intrude was a large hairy tarantula type spider that was lurking around our suitcase. The children were electrified and caught the poor beast with a view to making it their pet along with a large millipede that had the misfortune to be spotted. Sadly I managed to spill the contents of the small bucket so that our friends scuttled off into the undergrowth – all legs in tact. We have photos.

Being a tiny island the staff live off site and are ferried across each day complete with life jackets as none can swim. The food involves no choice as with activities. How wonderful to just eat what is laid out for you – and all locally grown or reared. The owners have gone to great lengths to train staff to cook appropriate simple and delicious food. The bread was always chapattis but made along Indian lines, ie, thin and not greasy. They had even managed to provide a pretty good imitation of baked beans. Tom boasted 5 helpings of beans on chapattis not that you would know it from his scrawny frame. Being a Waldron the discovery of quantities of mussel type molluscs was both delightful and depressing as no one seemed to have any knowledge of their potential for the pot...moule mariniere a la Hairy Lemon was not to be.

All in all, Arthur Ramsome would be proud. On leaving HL, we headed for Jinja and the compulsory white-water rafting. The shorter family trip suited our purse though the lack of higher grade rapids did cause some dilemma. In an inflatable on the Nile propelled by experienced Ugandan muscle power, we navigated grade 1 and 2 rapids interspersed with the children diving off the boat for a swim. In the end the initially cloudy day became rather hot and the parents threw caution to the wind and dived in fully clothed unscathed but for the loss of an earring (JoJo’s . . . ). Sensing the enthusiasm of the Ackroyds our guide very kindly took us down a grade 3, ignoring Tom’s fake hysteria, which rather completed the day. Or nearly, as the perfect ending was Tilapia and chips with the inevitable top-up sauce (luminous red) at the source of the Nile in Jinja. We overlooked the fact that this supposedly charming interesting restaurant was like something out of a deserted western set, made of wood and not a soul in sight – customer or staff. I can’t imagine it will survive much longer. The guide book had recommended ‘interesting food’, not born out by the menu which boiled down to goat with chips or coleslaw; chicken or tilapia likewise. Gordan Ramsay eat your heart out.

Diary of a Day

Coping with equanimity with what the day brings is, I am learning, key to staying sane and (reasonably) focussed. Today was not untypical.

6.30am Wake; make breakfast while JoJo gets the boys up; eat breakfast and assmeble school bags.
7.20am (Peter and Tom) 7.25am (Alastair) walk up the hill and down, past the red-tailed monkeys, to the Button's house for school run. It's our turn to drive (in the Button's Land Cruiser).
7.55am At left turn to avoid worst of traffic and circuit round SW Kampala, feel the power steering give way; driving - including avoiding pot-holes, boda-boda motorcycle taxis, etc - v heavy work for the rest of the day
8.25am Arrive at Ambrosoli School ten minutes late on account of appallingly heavy traffic. Consequential exhaust fume overload leaves both boys feeling sick (though Tom blames it on the shorts he has decided are too tight for him . . . ); I leave them with bottles of water, soothing words and understanding teachers - and am relieved to receive no calls on the mobile thereafter.
8.50am Arrive at Lugogo Mall shopping centre and collapse into upmarket coffee shop for Eggs Benedict and a mocha. Stay there holed up in a corner with my laptop, NIV and Greek NT working through the letter to the Romans, noting the Apostle's usage of 'in Christ' language and parallels. Write an entry for my INSEAD class 20th anniversary yearbook.
11am Espresso; then walk to the South African chainstore GAME to purchase huge canisters of bottled water for our dispenser, and lightbulbs; then to supermarket Shoprite for bread (none except sweet bread available here), bin bags and other essentials we have yet to track down for home.
11.30am Commence horrendous two mile journey to a Forex office in the centre of Kampala to change Travellers Cheques. Main artery through the city closed creating gridlock in the heat of the day. Finally park at 12.10pm, bathed in perspiration, purchase strip of parking tickets (1000 Uganda Shillings - c 33p - for five), and change money. Walk back to car and handover two tickets to roadside parking attendant in orange tabard.
12.30pm Uganda Wildlife Authority office on north of city, between Br High Commission and National Museum, to pay for a night of tented accommodation at Lake Mburo on out trip to the SW at the end of June. Short wait and hand-written receipt - everything is receipted here, normally by hand and in triplicate - USh 80000 for two tents - c£23.
12.50pm Find supermarket which has suitable bread!
1pm Drive to FOCUS Uganda site in Mulago - surprise visit to Beatrice and Vincent Langariti. Great time with them both discussing our forthcoming trip to Tororo (E Uganda) for Beatrice's sister's 'Introduction' (formal engagement), future visits from Wootton to FOCUS, possible links Beds schools - Mulago Child Project, etc etc. Time flies and after a delicious sweet bread and egg sandwich (!) I say good bye at 2.30pm. They are coming to see us in Mukono on Friday.
3pm Pick up Alastair and Tom, & Abigail and Alex Button from Ambrosoli, ply them with biscuits (successfully) and water (less successfully) and drive back to Mukono.
3.40pm Arrive back. Phew! Report steering problems to Rosie Button! Local mechanic quickly confirms a belt has parted - fortunately no further damage. Phew!
4pm Locate flash drive and walk down to General Studies office - crowded with students - to print off tomorrow morning's lecture (Matthew - prepared last night) on the sole printer there.
4.30pm Tea at home with JoJo, Lucy (who really has been poorly, with a sickness bug and fever all day - our maid Alice told JoJo it was bound to be malaria . . . Lucy seems better now and was well enough to eat supper. . . a maid at the Guest House told me a cold sore on my lip - now vanished - was certainly malaria . . . ), and the boys; then (checking e-mails and the test score on BBC Sport website - 7 Windies 2nd inningds wickets down) in the study preparing a powerpoint for the lecture.
6.30pm Supper - wonderful Indian meal prepared by JoJo (Alice has been ironing all day)
7.30pm Read one of 'Nelson Mandela's Favourite African Folktales' to the children at bedtime. Check test score - we won by an innings and 283 runs!
8pm Collapsed on the sofa with coffee and (for Peter) Ouma's Buttermilk Rusks to watch the gripping last three episodes of BBC's Bleak House - borrowed DVD and borrowed laptop. There is little good TV here so people tend to have good DVD and video collections!
10am Tea and bed after one of those days where fitting in what brought us here - spiritual and ministerial reflection, a spot of research, aspiration to find unhurried time for Bible study and prayer, has all taken second place to other issues! I am on site tomorrow (Tues) and after the morning lecture hope to find a bit of space . . .

Save the Mothers House

Here's a picture of the house which is home for the next six weeks.

It takes it name from the new Masters programme which Jean Chamberlain/Froese (currently back in Canada), has pioneered here at UCU, in partnership with Interserve. The multi-disciplinary degree is part-time and modular, in Public Health, with the specific aim of improving maternal health across the developing world - where thousands of women every week die from preventable complications of pregnancy and childbirth. The qualification is designed for lawyers, government officials, health care workers, educators, and other interested parties with the ability to influence policy and practice. www.savethemothers.org and www.ucu.ac.ug for more information.

The house stands high above and to one side of the UCU campus, with a breathtaking view over Mukono to the green hills and tea-estates to the north-east. Proximity to Mukono town, on the other hand, means we are prone to all the sounds of the town - including late night parties on Saturday and the daily morning (5am) call to prayer from the mosque. On the other hand, we are close to the surrounding woodland and so have blue and red-tailed monkeys crossing the lawn morning and evening to leap around the trees!

Have suitcase, will travel . . .

Slow internet access and a series of house moves has delayed this post – so this is an omnibus, assembled over several days.

The last fortnight has certainly seen quite a range of new experiences. Lucy tasted the better side of ex-pat life when she sampled an art class in a beautiful house and garden overlooking Lake Victoria. A fabulous exotic lily was plucked from the border and positioned for a group of them to paint. Amidst interesting chatter about books, life in Uganda and previous lives led on tea, coffee and rubber plantations. Alastair, on the other hand sampled sleepover Ugandan style: BBQ, tents, wild games in the huge tropical garden and running around at 3am in torrential rain accompanied by the family Great Dane.

Saturday 12th for most of us was moving day and as it turned out for Peter, decorating day! We moved c into 3 buildings: boys in the Buttons house where Peter & I have our 1st breakfast of the day. Lucy sleeps top-to-toe with the eldest Adams daughter, Jane, next door to this. Peter & I are sleeping in the newly painted and ceilinged garden/school room at the top of the garden with our own African privy and outside basin. The call of nature never normally heard is always heard here by JoJo who on her first night had to wait for the rainstorm to stop, only to find a large wild dog hovering outside the door. We have had other late night visitors including a mini swarm of Safari ants (the ones that can eat a cow in 3 hours...). These people are incredibly kind to have their already stressful lives overtaken by the Ackroyd hoards, for 7 nights!

Living higher up the hillside now we got to see red-tail monkeys stealing fruit from the garden here and frolicking with black monkeys only a few meters away. Mongooses busied themselves in the evenings foraging for snakes eggs and other delights. The noise is extraordinary from about 4 or 5am onwards: Muslim call to prayer, cockerels, and raucous squawking Hadada Ibises, Plantain Eaters are the worst. During the day only the Adams children can dare to compete. Each of these children represent a well known stereotype in terms of speech. A daffy duck, John Wayne, Larry-boy from Vege-tales etc. They are all completely unselfconscious, articulate and relaxed in a range of company. They are very pumped up at the moment with the discovery that the gardener can make proper catapults with sticks and an inner tube that could kill things. Our boys are safely at school and have not cottoned on yet...

We moved on Sunday 20th to our final resting place where only this week large paw prints belonging to some kind of biggish cat (maybe a leopard or serval which is a little smaller) were found by the screen door which had also been damaged by it. Life is never dull! The family (Tom and Jean Froese, Elizabeth and Jonathan) who normally live here have returned to Canada for four months, leaving us not only the house but a pregnant cat, their charming maid Alice, and a catalogue of security arrangements to make the White House blush. We are gradually settling in and very relieved to be altogether under one roof and facing no more moves.

P’s lecturing career got off to an inauspicious start last week with a double-booked lecture hall (wall-less) and the absence of workbooks. I’m sure the 2 hours pass in moments for those hapless students. Beware St Mary’s, he could get used to this teaching approach. He is now on the second lecture (Mark’s gospel) and beginning to get into his stride. He is also looking after a weekly discipleship group of ordinands.

JoJo spent her week at the Adams trying to find a routine for her and Lucy but failing. The call of nothing is a powerful one and dipping in and out of domestic chores. The milkman come (bicycle and giant aluminium urm perch precariously on the back) and so it is time for Mrs Adams to bring out the large saucepan into which he scoops the daily amount which is taken to the stove and boiled gently. Later the thick semicongealed mass on top is carefully scraped off – the precious cream for a quiche or perhaps to accompany an apple or pineapple crumble. Generally the milk is sieved again once a day, to remove the unsightly blobs. Together with concrete work surfaces, it can feel like ones hit a WWII timewarp.

Since moving into the ‘Save the Mothers’ House (so named after the programme which Jean Froese runs at UCU), we are all getting used to yet another routine. Hopefully this will be the last!

Alastair and Tom are on a two-day half term this Thursday and Friday. We are taking two day trip to a tented island camp on the Nile, 50km north of Lake Victoria - the 'Hairy Lemon' - with our friends Jem and Lucy Hovill and their children. They have been in Uganda as Crosslinks associates - supported by (among other churches) Emmanuel Dundonald in Wimbledon for the last seven years. Jem works mainly with the Church of Uganda as a trainer - and Peter has been reading his doctoral thesis on theological education in church here, which is a fascinating insight into the stirring history and current challenge of Christian mission here.

Into the bush and back

So, here we are last week at Sambiya River Lodge in the Murchison Falls National Park, around five hours north–west of Kampala. We travelled up here last Monday and back on Thursday, which gave us two days exploring with the help of a friendly tour operator.

The Lodge felt like a tropical paradise with forest around and most buildings having thatched roofs. The main building consists of a spacious reception area and then a long curved bar, lounge and dining area on 2 levels open to the elements save bamboo screens in a spiders web shape on top of a low wall spanning the considerable length. At one end one could see the pool and in front the large garden heaving with weaverbirds and nest chirping their hearts out, outdone only by the extraordinarily loud Cicadas. As ever the countryside was eager to shed its reputation for peace and quiet. Our Banda accommodation was basic but good: concrete structures with thatched roof and a gabled porch. Showers, basins and loos were communal like one might find on a campsite. Set a little apart from the main building it was strange to think that as we slept all manner of beasts might walk past, especially once the security lights went out. At supper (a delicious Thai chicken curry) the waiter spotted a hyena he claimed. Certainly lions, buffalo and even leopards have been found right up to and even in the Lodge. Warthogs are a common sight in the garden. Unfortunately the combination of rain and sunshine that day, or days, conspired to encourage what seemed like the annual initiation of the flying termites. Thousands of them gathered in clouds around the lights in the dining room. Their wings like petals of Michaelmas daisies shedding in a carpet over the floor below. Fascinating and foul simultaneously, but the geckos were thrilled and were out in droves too, not to be outdone by the resident colony of bats. Supper was certainly not dull.

The park itself extends to the north and south of the Victoria Nile as it makes the last stage of its journey from Lake Victoria to Lake Albert. In the centre of the park is the Murchison Falls – a spectacular cataract unknown to the outside world until discovered by Sir Samuel Baker (and his intrepid wife) on 3rd April 1864, promptly naming it after the then president of the Royal Geographical Society, his expedition’s sponsor. Here the mighty White Nile - hundreds of yards wide above and below the falls – thunders 45m down a cleft no more than 8m wide.

As well as walking to the top of the falls and the next day up to their foot, we spent two long mornings on game drives north of the Nile and in the direction of the Nile as it flows out of Lake Albert and towards the Sudan. Lucy Alastair and Tom are keen to post a report of these drives – suffice it to say at this point that we felt very fortunate indeed to see all the ‘big game’ which the park has to offer, including distant sightings of a leopard in the fork of a tree and the ‘shoebill’ – a rare stork-like bird.


On the return journey to Kampala, close to a small town called Masindi (Wootton readers might be interested to know that Masindi is where John Kirkby spent a month last year), we paused for a rare treat and ‘first’. Around three km out of town, we were met by a young government vet, Tonny Kidega, who had persuaded the local village that instead of razing one of the last remnants of forest in their area, they should preserve it as a Community Forest, generating income and employment for the local economy from tourists. We learnt that there were five species of primate still living in the forest, including two families of chimpanzees. So, for an absorbing hour or so, we were conducted round the (fairly small) forest by Tonny and his team, spotting abandoned chimpanzee nests, observing colobus and red-tailed monkeys, being observed closely by a troop of baboons from the trees (part of the fascination was that the nosey baboons had never set eyes on mzungu – white – children!), and eventually but sadly at a greater distance than Tonny had hoped, spotting four chimps, anxiously watching us from the trees.

We returned to Mukono (accompanied as far as Kampala by Tonny – who turned out to be a shining Christian and ex-Prayer Secretary of Makerere University CU) with eyes opened wider at the wonder of the natural world, the poverty of many rural areas here, and the dedication and love of many Ugandans for their country and its heritage.

Back to School

Yesterday Alastair and Tom at last started school (five weeks after the end of their Winter terms at Holywell and Wootton Lower. Leaving Lucy 'home alone' in the care of the university guest house, JoJo and Peter travelled in with Rosie Button and her two children, Abigail and Alex, to Ambrosoli International School and saw them safely into their (small) classes. We then spent the rest of the day doing errands in Kampala (eg exchanging sufficient travellers' cheques - a lengthy process, in a suitably downtown location - to pay the school fees) before picking them all up at the end of the day for the run (45 mins - more of a crawl actually) back to the peace of Mukono. Peter fancying himself at the wheel of the 4x4 Land Cruiser.

We are sharing transport and trips with the Buttons - the fewer drives per week into Kampala, the better one's sanity!

Peter now getting into the library every morning and making some progress with 'Union with Christ' - currently reading Lewis Smedes and looking forward to getting into James Stewart's classic, 'Man in Christ'. He begins lecturing an introduction to two NT classes next week. JoJo meanwhile home-schooling the very self-motivated Lucy and enjoying the chance to spend 'quality' time reading in the mornings.